Friday's Videos

My girl is the sweetest thing ever.

Singing (well she was when she didnt see the camera phone) Wheel on the Bus

Ally saying she loves me

Spring School Pic

I am so behind in my scrapbooking but i MUST make it a priorty to get this one done because years from now I want to remember that in Corey's Kindergarten spring photo he is sporting a buzz cut in honor of a fellow schoolmate that is battling cancer. I loved looking at the class photo and seeing several of the kindergarten boys sporting buzzed or shaved heads. Can you believe, it this little girl is in several grades above them but the whole school is supporting her, makes me remember how pure the hearts of our children are.

I need to go and print the article to put with the class picture and this one of my very handsome little boy.

A Girl Without Fear = A Mommy With Many

If you knew me when Corey was little we all thought I would have made a emergency room visit by now, but man that lil boy must be made of steel. Now with Ally there are no words. She was born a bruiser and continues to be a bruiser. She's my linebacker and any 2-3 years olds out I'd watch, she will take you DOWN!!! Having an older brother really doesn't help, Ally is two but swears to God shes 6 just like Corey. I'm the only mom wearing heels at the park following her around on the play set. She's likes to swing on the bar and pretend she's going to jump off. Not to mention she loves hurling herself face first down the slide. Because of the ABOVE I try very hard not to bring them to parks, but with Corey's soccer practice being next to a HUGE park structure its hard for me to get out of.

Today I watched her climb up the rope looking things and held her bum and then she gave me a dirty look and said "no mom, me do". I stayed close but I had to admit she was doing pretty darn good. I started to think maybe I was freaking out for no reason. I took a couple steps back to sit down and OMFG!!! I FLIPPED THE F@&K out when I saw her fall forward and land on her head and the right side of her face. My baby was sobbing and saying she hurt. After what seemed to be 2 hours in mommy time but was really only 2 min she was running off again. WTH!!!! Is she mad of steel too, do my kids have some super powers I have no clue about???? There was no way she was playing anymore tonight, I heart couldn't take anymore falls. Poor thing keep crying for ice all the way home, but then once I gave it to her she put it on her face but it was too cold so she ate it GO FIGURE!!!

Ally watching Corey, telling him to be careful LOL

This is her getting ready to run stance

Corey trying very hard not to look at me and my camera


Ally with no fear

and DAMN proud of it

She can ever get up herself now

She's so damn sweet

The aftermath, think mommy cried more than she did. I can't stop checking on her tonight.

The Last Straw

Im finally saying but I'M DONE!! Tuesday is my dad's birthday and I always send him a card from the kids and one from me. I caved and did send him something for Christmas because I just ccan't help myself. Once upon a time he was a good dad. I've been really thinking about it and have finally decided I'M DONE, REALLY DONE. I mentioned grandpa Alan to Corey the other day and he response was "Who's that, I have another grandpa?" When I explained that he's mommy's dad Corey then said "I thought you did have a dad, you only have grammy in KY and papa Jack". OUCH!!! Can someone please pull this knife out of my heart. So, Im not going to waste anymore time thinking about him and we will only focus on the people who actually care about us. My mom and step dad have been AWESOME grandparents to my babies, and thats what counts. They love my kids and my kids love them.

This is a HUGE hurdle for my, my dad's birthday will come and go and I will not allow myself to feel guilty. I KNOW he didn't feel a twinge of guilt when the kids birthday came and went without hearing from him not to mention the holidays.

So if you start to see me panic or get sad, please just tell me to GET OVER IT, THE MAN DOESN'T MATTER!! Wanna know made me finally see the light? This picture is the last time I have seen my dad YES THAT'S COREY ALMOST 4 MONTHS OLD!!!




Shawna says....

The Child with ADHD's Bill of Rights

"Help me to focus"
Please teach me through my sense of touch. I need "hands on" and body movement.

"I need to know what comes next"
Please give me a structured environment where there is dependable routine. Give me advance warning if there will be changes.

"Wait for me! I'm still thinking"
Please allow me to go at my own pace. If I rush I get confused and upset.

"I'm stuck! I can't do it!"
Please offer me options for problem-solving. I need to know the detours when the road is blocked.

"Is it right? I need to know NOW!"
Please give me rich and immediate feedback on how I'm doing. This will help me to understand.

"I didn't forget! I didn't hear it in the first place"
Please give me directions one step at a time, and ask me gently to say back what I heard you say.

"I didn't know I wasn't in my seat"
Please gently remind me to stop, think and then act.

"Am I almost done now?"
Please give me short work periods and short term goals so I can experience success.

"What?"
Please don't say "I already told you" Tell me again in different words. Give me a signal. Draw me a symbol.

"I know! It's all wrong, isn't it?"
Please give me praise for partial success. Reward me for improvement, not just for perfection.

"But why do I always get yelled at?"
Please catch me doing something right, and praise me for my specific, positive behavior. Remind me (and yourself) about my many good points when I'm having a bad day.

"I may be a challenge to live with and to teach sometimes, but I still have real feelings and would never have chosen to behave like I sometimes do. I respect you and really, really need your approval."

These days were Corey is in rare form are so hard. Its not his fault I know but try telling that to your heart when you are stressed. Sometimes I need a small reminder as too why I go through so much to make sure my child as every oppurtunity possible. The words the teachers say in his report cards tug at my heartstrings but I know they are helping me help Corey. With these reminders it helps me determine if we need to change dosage. School is what matters and I will bend over backwards to make sure he his excelling and not being pushed to the because of behavior. Weight is a whole other can of worms, as a parent is breaks my heart to watch him dominate the soccer field but to have to stop way before the other kids because he has no engery due to loss of appetite. If I could hook him up to an IV at night I would, but thats semi extreme don't cha think. We were doing so well and hit 40lbs which was a HUGE milestone, seriously we celebrated with cake and balloons. Seems once he puts some weight on a growth spurt hits and he shoots up like a weed. I just pray that we get a little break to put the weight back on so he can get out there the whole practice/game and be the BESTEST little Shark he can be. Hell, if we ever see that scale hit 50 (for Corey, not Ally beacause we know thats soon) we will friggin go to Disneyland. LOL

There you go, my vent for the day. Trust me you would rather hear me babble about Corey than the super crappy day I had a work.

Shawna says......

Wordless Wednesday

First soccer practice with a new team & coach....

Mom: Corey are you excited about soocer?
Corey: No
Mom: Why? you get a be a Shark
Corey: I'm nervous and no one will like me
Mom: Everyone gets nervous, you're a great soccer player just get out there and show them what you can do
Corey: ok, I will try

I was so proud!!!


Have to throw this in there, the 2 min she actually sat still

Thinking Back

Now the the surgery date is booked and my mom's plane tickets are bought, Im starting to MEGA plan the next few months. Ally turns 3 in May and we were going to have a birthday party for her, a real one with her friends from school. I was going to cancel but decided I won't. My mom will still be here so we will still do a party just downplay it. It will be so hard for me though to sit and do nothing, I wont even be able to lift my camera. ACK!! Its all good though. Dr said no housework, lifting groceries, dishes, laundry, nada for 6 weeks OH DARN!!!

Anyways enough with my planning babble, you will hear enough between now and 4/20. I was looking at pics and found a March 2006 folder. So funny. I was pregnant with Ally and had gestional diabetes and was about to go out of work on disability for complications. I couldnt sleep worth a damn because lil yoga master never rested. I wish I had my old blog to remember what I wrote but it was really silly, you know preggo brain silly. Funny how vivid I remember this night.

Taking my weekly belly shot

Kevin brings home these

Did he forget about THIS?? Torture

Watching tv because I couldnt sleep and surprised that my feet were no longer visible

DAMN look at my feet, thank god I couldn't see them

Awe memories, can't believe I will never be pregnant again EVER :o( and that my baby is going to be THREE!!!!

Shawna says...